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So if they had challenges then, it gets about 1,000 times worse once they're tossed from the warm womb of their alma mater. For simple things, it takes someone smart to really screw it up. Take piano, violin, tennis, swimming and Tibetan throat-singing lessons. Be "well-rounded." Well, you're a talented little bugger. At the same time, there's an opportunity cost associated with achievement.
From my observations, the following dating challenges seem to be common to most smart people. So whether you went (or should have gone) to the likes of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Stanford, Columbia, Cornell, Swarthmore, Amherst, Dartmouth, Brown, Oxford, Cambridge, Berkeley, Penn, Caltech, Duke, read on: 1. Time spent studying, doing homework, and practicing the violin is time not spent doing other things -- like chasing boys or girls, which turns out is fairly instrumental in making you a well-rounded human.
So while I’m not judging you for being just like I am – I AM pointing out to you that if you insist that you can ONLY be attracted to men who are smarter than you, you are relegating yourself to less than 2% of the population (before we consider things like looks, height, money, religion, humor, charm, attraction, values, etc.) Moreover, you’re relegating yourself to a man who is NOT A GOOD FIT FOR YOU. Thus, my wife doesn’t HAVE to be like me – because we’re great together.
And when two people who are that smart, that opinionated, and that strong-willed get together, it should obvious that sparks will fly – and tensions will mount. And yet you still hold your boyfriend to a ridiculous standard, as if a man who went to a state school and doesn’t watch Sunday morning political talk shows is a dullard. I married a woman who was smart – who gets every joke, who knows about Shakespeare and classical music, who has definite opinions about Israel/Palestine – but she’s not necessarily in the 98th percentile of intellectual curiosity. our time is usually spent talking about fixing up the house, raising our daughter, planning our next vacation, figuring out what we’re going to have for dinner, etc.
In fact, the smarter you are, the more clueless you will be, and the more problems you're going to have in your dating life. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up. And smart families are usually achievement-oriented. The upshot of all that achievement is that you get into a top college -- congratulations!
Once upon a day I used to be pretty smart, and believe me, I had a lock on clueless. -- and then continue doing even more of what you were doing before.
The key to your future successful relationships is going to come in opening up to smart guys without all the baggage that comes from being brilliant and driven.
You’d make adjustments if you were only looking for jobs on and it never got you a job. Should it be any news that it’s the one arena in which you struggle the most? I know a little bit about a lot and can pretty much hold my own in any cocktail party conversation.
In other words, you need to earn love (or at least lust).
Sadly, no mom, dad or professor teaches us about the power of the well-placed compliment (or put-down), giving attention but not too much attention, being caring without being needy.
It's because they've been going at it the wrong way. For most of their lives, smart people inhabit a seemingly-meritocratic universe: If they work hard, they get good results (or, in the case of really smart folks, even if they don't work hard, they still get good results).
Good results mean kudos, strokes, positive reinforcement, respect from peers, love from parents.
So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls (or boys) will like me. Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid.